Starting over

OK, the weather, life and the cosmos in general interfered in my walking….all within the first 48 hours!

So yesterday, since I spent 30 minutes walking up that mongo hill down south, I decided that I was going to start again.  The program starts on Sundays, so I counted my slow but steady ascent up that mountain



steep hill as my first day.

Today, in spite of all the errands I ran and visiting I did, and my mom coming back so she can make her PT appointment tomorrow, and the need to take Baby Bear to ballet, I got out and walked 1.9 miles in…..

24 minutes!!!!!!!!

I will admit that Baby Bear conned me into riding the bike (with her on the back and the seat way too low so that I was REALLY working my thighs) about 1/2 way down one of the cul-de-sacs.  But regardless, I was moving for the full 24 minutes.

Next major purchase….a new set of shoes!



It worked!

Remember that mind game I played with myself?

I went for a walk last night (note to self, go walking when it is NOT dusk – irregularities in the sidewalk are much more evident!) and I walked for 20 minutes!

I stretched last night after the walk, but my hips are still very tight. I slept really well last night to boot. It was also nice to walk around the neighborhood holding hands with Daddy Bear and just enjoy time together. We found the cubs and were greeted with hugs from the little one and continued on our walk. The nice part about the cubs being a bit older is that I don’t have to figure out how to keep track of them while I walk.

Next goal – at least 10 minutes again today……

Temp Check

Today is not Monday,  it is not even Tuesday!  Somehow the week has really slid past me and I have not written a thing.  I am not sure how I manage to lose track of time like that.  I wish I could blame it on something like the emotions of grief, but I have to admit that I am a major procrastinator and I just did not get stuff done.  Now, I will say that there have been some serious disruptions to my sleep because the Cubs have been very needy and not sleeping well themselves.  They are going through the normal fears that occur in a loss.  They are afraid that Papa Bear and I are going to die or just disappear.   So there have been several long nights of sitting up and holding one or the other Cub while they slept and giving them squeezes and whispered assurances that I am there when they get restless.   I hate that they have to go through this.  Like any mom, I wish I could protect them from all the pain, the loss, the disappointments, the hurt feelings, and anything else that takes away their innocence and belief in a perfect and safe world.  But I am glad that I am here to help them through it, even if there are times that I know I say the wrong thing or I snap at them when I am going through my own emotional upheavals.

Anyway…..I think this is how I end up losing track of time!

So on Mondays I try to do a temp check of where I was last week and how I can improve the upcoming week.  That includes evaluating things like exercise (or lack of), my dietary planning and execution (healthy or otherwise),  how the message from Mass is going to impact my week, how much time I committed to deepening my friendship with God, and how much effort I put into being the wife and mother God wants me to be.   In order to increase my accountability, I decided that I needed to put some of that our here in cyberspace for all 3 of you who read this little collection of words.   So here it is…..

I have gotten up and started moving again.  I have not managed to get back to the TKD DoJang for a few reasons – all of them fairly whiny and not worth your time right now.  But I have managed to get off the couch, raise my heart rate and sweat just a bit.  I have done that using one of my very favorite work-out DVDs –

Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds.


I was introduced to Ms Sansone’s videos through another blogger, Ellen.  Honestly, it was her blog, along with Baby Cub, who managed to get my saggy baggy body moving again.  But back to Ms Sansone’s videos.  They are easy to do (I did not even come close to falling down once – score one for the video since I managed to fall down several times in TKD) and don’t require any type of coordination (also another attribute that I sorely lack).

Starting to move again after almost 3 months of doing nothing, I was very glad to do this in the privacy of my home.  It also gave me the chance to get out some emotions that I was keeping bottled up.  There were several times that I would march around my living room with tears coursing down my face and screaming just because I was alone and could.  It is time for me to get out of the house and back into society, but I needed that time for some emotional healing, and for the most part I do that by curling in on myself until I am able to gain some sort of control.   Ahhh, control – an illusion, but one best saved for another day.

Well, there you have it – my emotional and physical temp check for the week.

New Goals

OK, I guess I have procrastinated enough in putting these goals out on the blog so that I am accountable for them.  One thing that is discussed a lot in TKD – not only there but in a lot of places, but they are the ones who are guiding me right now, so I will credit them – is making SMART goals.

SMART stands for

S – Specific

M – Measurable

A – Attainable

R – realistic

T – Timely


This time I am going to set 3 goals.

The first will be that in 3 months my HgbA1C is <7.0.  I know that sounds like gibberish, but it really is a very specific goal.   An HgbA1C is a lab test that is done to find out what your average blood sugar has been over the last 30-60 days.  For a diabetic the goal is to have it routinely under 7.0.  I would eventually like to have it much lower than that, but these are the baby steps that I am taking.  It will require me to test my own blood sugar and carefully monitor what I eat and how much I exercise.   But I know I can do it – I just need to have more self control – especially in raiding the kids’ Halloween loot!

The second goal is an endurance goal.  I will be able to walk 5K in <1 hr.  That my not sound like an ambitious goal, but for me it is.  This is a constant gait, not a start and stop type of thing.  The second part of this goal is that I actually participate in a 5K event.  That also may not sound like much, but I don’t like to get involved in big group events, especially ones where I could make a fool of myself.   Remember my lack of grace and coordination?  I am probably the only person who has dislocated her knee in the middle of a nurse’s station.  So, to put on shoes and socks and actually go someplace where there are going to be other walkers is a huge step for me.  My time frame to achieve this goal is by this spring.  Early spring in our area of the country hosts a lot of walks because everyone is ready to get out of the house at the end of the winter.  I will post the actual date of the walk once I find one in which to participate.  I have already figured out a training method to build walking endurance.  I have a walking video that I can use throughout the winter which works up to a 5K.  I will share the name of the video once I dig it out……

The third goal relates to TKD.  By this time in my training my kicks should be above my belt.  My front kick is good to go.  I could always improve it, but it is above my belt.  My side kick and round kick need a lot of work.  There was a time when I could pull my leg all the way up beside my ear.  First – that was many moons ago! I am much older with a whole lot more miles on my body.   Second – that was when I still practicing ballet.   In ballet the legs are always turned out –   knee to the ceiling on side lifts/kicks, or the knee facing outward when lifting/kicking to the front or back.  In TKD the knee faces forward on side kicks.  That requires the use of different lifting muscles and requires a different set of muscles to be stretched.  So my goal – by the time my belt changes color (which will be January at the earliest), my side and round kick will be at least at belt level.  I have already discussed with my TKD instructors and they have shown me exercises to facilitate this advancement.

I think all those goals fit the SMART format.  If you see any that don’t please let me know so that I can adjust them!  Ok, Ya’ll!  I need your rooting and cheering to keep me on track.