Re-introduction to movement

Saturday I was re-introduced to movement.

Our TKD studio had a free workshop about movement and health.  It was a 2.5 hour workshop.  First, you must understand how much this TKD group has become a family, because only love for a family would draw me out in wind gusts up to 30 miles an hour and near white out conditions.  But out I went and move I did.

It started out with some yoga.  I am new to the world of yoga.  It is something that I have never fully investigated or had a place where I could take a class.  I have tried it on video and decided that I would only do it if no one else was home.  The cubs would have a hey day laughing at my chubby body contorting into those positions.  Imagine my discomfort when I realized that I was going to assume some of these poses in public!  So I tucked myself into a corner and got into the task of twisting myself into a mis-shaped pretzel who was unable to balance on one foot for longer than .3 seconds.

Next came an introduction to X-Fit.  This is a cross between punching at invisible people, kicking at them and then running from them in place in time to music in a particular order under the leadership of your instructor.  So far have you noticed that this could be a recipe for disaster for my uncoordinated, already out of breath from simple stretching in the yoga, self?  Well, other than being about 2 beats behind and doing things mostly backwards I actually held out pretty well.  I made everything as low as I could make it so I didn’t ratchet up my heart rate too much, but I kept up.  At least I did not crash into my neighbor who was doing a much better job of staying up with things than I was!

The day proceeded to core strengthening.  The instructor shows us some very valuable abdominal exercises that I can actually do and not feel like old surgical sites are tearing, or irritate my GERD.  The instructor was terrific except he forgot to tell us the breathing we are supposed to do, so for a lot of it I was turning blue.  Once I got the breathing down, though,  those exercises were amazingly effective.

The last part of the day was the final section of X-Fit.  We punched on  bags and then moved to the floor.  I did the bag work, but I passed on the floor work as my abs were already screaming with delight that they had been found again.

The final segment of the day was a cool down, a much shorter and faster yoga session.  I was able to do most of this as well.  Some of the moves were simply no possible for me to do with the extra mega weight around my middle, but I gave it the good old college try.   I wandered around the studio for a few minutes to make sure my rubbery lets would carry me out to the car, fell into it, and proceeded to drive home through mostly clear streets, though I ran into a few major drifts and a couple of white outs where the road went between fields.

It was fantastic to spend time with my “extended family” and share stories between panted breaths.

It was good to re-engage my long neglected muscles.

I really enjoyed feeling my blood surging through my body.

I went to bed feeling tone in my muscles.

Then I woke up…..

I will leave the amount of pain that coursed through my  body for the next 48 hours up to you imagination.

But even with pain in my legs (have yet to figure out why my hamstrings were so tight) and the tightness in my shoulders (hate that my shoulder has never regained full strength from surgery, even with PT and continued exercise), I hand mixed 2 loaves of bread and then kneaded the dough for 10 minutes on Sunday.  On Monday I got up and walked through the grocery with Baby Cub and lifted and toted the bags.   Tuesday is my day of nothing.  Then tomorrow I will drag out the exercise videos, close the blinds, make sure the Cubs are safely tucked in the office doing their school work and then once again partake in foolish looking exercises in my living room and continue what I started on Saturday!

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Temp Check

Today is not Monday,  it is not even Tuesday!  Somehow the week has really slid past me and I have not written a thing.  I am not sure how I manage to lose track of time like that.  I wish I could blame it on something like the emotions of grief, but I have to admit that I am a major procrastinator and I just did not get stuff done.  Now, I will say that there have been some serious disruptions to my sleep because the Cubs have been very needy and not sleeping well themselves.  They are going through the normal fears that occur in a loss.  They are afraid that Papa Bear and I are going to die or just disappear.   So there have been several long nights of sitting up and holding one or the other Cub while they slept and giving them squeezes and whispered assurances that I am there when they get restless.   I hate that they have to go through this.  Like any mom, I wish I could protect them from all the pain, the loss, the disappointments, the hurt feelings, and anything else that takes away their innocence and belief in a perfect and safe world.  But I am glad that I am here to help them through it, even if there are times that I know I say the wrong thing or I snap at them when I am going through my own emotional upheavals.

Anyway…..I think this is how I end up losing track of time!

So on Mondays I try to do a temp check of where I was last week and how I can improve the upcoming week.  That includes evaluating things like exercise (or lack of), my dietary planning and execution (healthy or otherwise),  how the message from Mass is going to impact my week, how much time I committed to deepening my friendship with God, and how much effort I put into being the wife and mother God wants me to be.   In order to increase my accountability, I decided that I needed to put some of that our here in cyberspace for all 3 of you who read this little collection of words.   So here it is…..

I have gotten up and started moving again.  I have not managed to get back to the TKD DoJang for a few reasons – all of them fairly whiny and not worth your time right now.  But I have managed to get off the couch, raise my heart rate and sweat just a bit.  I have done that using one of my very favorite work-out DVDs –

Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds.

 

I was introduced to Ms Sansone’s videos through another blogger, Ellen.  Honestly, it was her blog, along with Baby Cub, who managed to get my saggy baggy body moving again.  But back to Ms Sansone’s videos.  They are easy to do (I did not even come close to falling down once – score one for the video since I managed to fall down several times in TKD) and don’t require any type of coordination (also another attribute that I sorely lack).

Starting to move again after almost 3 months of doing nothing, I was very glad to do this in the privacy of my home.  It also gave me the chance to get out some emotions that I was keeping bottled up.  There were several times that I would march around my living room with tears coursing down my face and screaming just because I was alone and could.  It is time for me to get out of the house and back into society, but I needed that time for some emotional healing, and for the most part I do that by curling in on myself until I am able to gain some sort of control.   Ahhh, control – an illusion, but one best saved for another day.

Well, there you have it – my emotional and physical temp check for the week.

Mortification to jubilation

Bear and Little Bear had a private class today, so Baby Bear and I tagged along so we could use the other half of the dojang to practice our form.  Up until this point I have been attending class in sweats and a T-shirt.  Unfortunately, I can’t graduate in that attire. I must have a do bok.  That means that I have to try one on there, because the only place to get them is there at the dojang since the do boks have the school name on the back of them.  Part of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) is weight gain around the middle section.  I have also had multiple surgeries which have cut my abdominal muscles multiple times.  Subsequently nothing ever fits correctly.  I had tried on Bear’s do bok and knew that it was too small.  Last night I tried on the next size up and it was still too small.  It just won’t tie across my belly.  I was ready to cry.  In fact, if I had not already started to see results from the last few weeks, I would quit just because I am so embarrassed about trying to fit into one of those stupid uniforms.  Today Mr M asked exactly why it did not fit.  I think I turned 14 shades of red, just because I had to admit not only to him, but to myself, how big I am around the middle.  He never blinked an eye.  He asked how it was on length.  I said it was fine.  He suggested that I take the do bak to an alterations store and ask them to insert triangles of white fabric into the side seams of the top to make it fit.  He went on to express frustration that there does not seem to be an understanding among the makers of the do boks that not everyone is built straight up and down and that there are people out there that have bumps and lumps where they should not be, especially when first starting TKD.  I went from wanting to cry in shame to wanting to cry in gratitude that there was an option, and that he got it, that I was not the first person to have faced this issue.

So, now I just need to find someone who sews…..

Another class

Well, we knew the first couple of weeks were going to be hairy getting Baby Bear and me to class since we had already scheduled things before we signed up.

Went to class today.  They are still working on Songham 1.  I am still lost.  But I am having fun doing it.  Somehow I end up facing the wrong direction every time we turn.  The kids are not sure what they are supposed to do with me.  I can see some of them looking at me like they want to laugh when I lose my balance, but they are polite enough not to give into their urge.  I save them from having to make the choice – I just laugh at myself.  They then start laughing and some of them are even giving me pointers.  This side kick is going to either help me or hurt me – the jury is still out.