Re-introduction to movement

Saturday I was re-introduced to movement.

Our TKD studio had a free workshop about movement and health.  It was a 2.5 hour workshop.  First, you must understand how much this TKD group has become a family, because only love for a family would draw me out in wind gusts up to 30 miles an hour and near white out conditions.  But out I went and move I did.

It started out with some yoga.  I am new to the world of yoga.  It is something that I have never fully investigated or had a place where I could take a class.  I have tried it on video and decided that I would only do it if no one else was home.  The cubs would have a hey day laughing at my chubby body contorting into those positions.  Imagine my discomfort when I realized that I was going to assume some of these poses in public!  So I tucked myself into a corner and got into the task of twisting myself into a mis-shaped pretzel who was unable to balance on one foot for longer than .3 seconds.

Next came an introduction to X-Fit.  This is a cross between punching at invisible people, kicking at them and then running from them in place in time to music in a particular order under the leadership of your instructor.  So far have you noticed that this could be a recipe for disaster for my uncoordinated, already out of breath from simple stretching in the yoga, self?  Well, other than being about 2 beats behind and doing things mostly backwards I actually held out pretty well.  I made everything as low as I could make it so I didn’t ratchet up my heart rate too much, but I kept up.  At least I did not crash into my neighbor who was doing a much better job of staying up with things than I was!

The day proceeded to core strengthening.  The instructor shows us some very valuable abdominal exercises that I can actually do and not feel like old surgical sites are tearing, or irritate my GERD.  The instructor was terrific except he forgot to tell us the breathing we are supposed to do, so for a lot of it I was turning blue.  Once I got the breathing down, though,  those exercises were amazingly effective.

The last part of the day was the final section of X-Fit.  We punched on  bags and then moved to the floor.  I did the bag work, but I passed on the floor work as my abs were already screaming with delight that they had been found again.

The final segment of the day was a cool down, a much shorter and faster yoga session.  I was able to do most of this as well.  Some of the moves were simply no possible for me to do with the extra mega weight around my middle, but I gave it the good old college try.   I wandered around the studio for a few minutes to make sure my rubbery lets would carry me out to the car, fell into it, and proceeded to drive home through mostly clear streets, though I ran into a few major drifts and a couple of white outs where the road went between fields.

It was fantastic to spend time with my “extended family” and share stories between panted breaths.

It was good to re-engage my long neglected muscles.

I really enjoyed feeling my blood surging through my body.

I went to bed feeling tone in my muscles.

Then I woke up…..

I will leave the amount of pain that coursed through my  body for the next 48 hours up to you imagination.

But even with pain in my legs (have yet to figure out why my hamstrings were so tight) and the tightness in my shoulders (hate that my shoulder has never regained full strength from surgery, even with PT and continued exercise), I hand mixed 2 loaves of bread and then kneaded the dough for 10 minutes on Sunday.  On Monday I got up and walked through the grocery with Baby Cub and lifted and toted the bags.   Tuesday is my day of nothing.  Then tomorrow I will drag out the exercise videos, close the blinds, make sure the Cubs are safely tucked in the office doing their school work and then once again partake in foolish looking exercises in my living room and continue what I started on Saturday!

Here we go again…

We are now half way through January and there have been only a handful of days that have been pleasant enough to stick my nose out the door, let alone walk.  The result…I ain’t moving much.  Add to that a lovely case of Whooping Cough there are moments I feel like I am doing good to breathe.  That being said, those are just excuses.  I have not been active and that is my fault.  It is a mind set I need to get through.  I have been making hugs strides in my emotional well-being.  Now I need to keep that trend going by progressing in my physical well-being. 

That being said, here are some action steps I have taken….

1) I have joined the Presidential Fitness Challenge Group setup by the TKD school. 

2) I have set my first nutritional goal (drink more water instead of sugary drinks)

3) I am making the public statement that I am going to move continuously for 15 minutes today.  Tomorrow I am going to increase that to 20 (i have to bake some bread and my mixer is not working so I am going to be hand kneading – trust me that is a workout).  We will see how sore I am from that and move forward from there…..

I have my glass of water in front of me (I am on my 2nd 32oz glass).

I have no sodas in the house (sob)

I have only had one cup of slightly sweetened coffee today 

One Word

One Word

This year I put a lot of thought into what I want to do in 2014.

I do have some fitness goals, though I have not sat down and really determined how I am going to meet them….that will be in a future post.

I did think about what I want to do with this year on my other blog.  Please come on over and tell me what you think!

I have learned….

Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of the death of my father.

He was and will always be a lot of things to me.

He was my hero.

He was the first man I fell in love with and wanted to marry (he informed me he was already taken, but would always love me)

He was the man who understood me, often times better than I understood myself.

He was the person I went to for advice with all sorts of issues – personal and professional.

He was gentle.

He was kind.

He was fair.

He understood people in ways I can only dream, and usually his understanding was within minutes of meeting them.

He was quiet, until he did not want to be.

He a laugh as big as the sky.  It was a laugh that make you smile because it was just so full of joy.

He had blue eyes that could be cold when he was in his cop mode, but more often were twinkling with his latest practical joke or love.

His hugs were strong and long.

 

I miss him. I miss him a lot.

I miss all those things I wrote about.  But I just miss his presence in the world.  One of the biggest feelings I had those first few weeks after his death was anger and disbelief that the world did not realize what was gone.  The world should have stopped, even if only for a day, an hour, to mourn a man who impacted so many people.

 

There are parts of this past year that I don’t even remember.  I feel like I have lost time. I was wading through a muddy fog that sucked at my legs and blocked my vision of everything around me. There were times I would get angry with myself because I could not “just get over it”.  Sometimes I would feel so overwhelmed by the rawness of my emotions that I felt as if someone was pouring salt and sand on blistered feet and forcing me to walk miles without end.

 

As the year progressed I would forget for a moment what I had lost.  I could see a break in the fog.  I could laugh and joke.  I could sing and play games with the Cubs.  And I knew that is what he would want me to do.  He would not want me to wallow in grief.  He would be angry that I had lost even one precious moment with my Cubs and with Papa Bear.  This was the man who always told me “I did not make much money when I was in this world, so you better have a cash  bar over my coffin so that you can make some money off me once I am dead”.  He called his 8 year battle with cancer “just a bump in the road”.  Those are things that he would want me to remember and cherish.

 

As 2013 ended and I contemplated this upcoming anniversary and the beginning of a new year I knew I had some choices to make.  Before I could make those choices, though, I needed to reflect on what I had learned this past year.

 

I learned that grief can be so overwhelming that it almost becomes a physical entity.

I learned that there are people who truly love me for me and are willing to sit by my side (physically, in cyber space and on the phone) and pass me tissues as I cry.

I learned I could cry and laugh at the same time.

I learned that no amount of preparation can reduce the pain of loss.

I learned that grief is definitely not a straight path.

I learned to be vulnerable.

I learned there is strength in vulnerability.

I learned that even in the midst of the deepest sadness God is there, waiting with open arms.