I have a major addiction – I LOVE Pinterest. There are so many things that I have found that have stimulated the creative part of me, encouraged the spiritual part of me, and have inspired me to think outside the box. One thing that I found was “My Virtual Model”. You enter your current weight and your goal weight and it shows you what you will look like. You can customize hair and body shape, etc. It is honestly does a really good job. I was playing with it this evening before snuggle time with the cubs. I am still very embarrassed by the actual number that is my weight. I know I have made tremendous strides in my health, but the number itself is still very embarrassing to me. I also have cubs who have no filters between their brains and their mouths. As I was customizing my “Model”, I asked the oldest cub to turn away as I was entering the “current weight”. Little Bear got REALLY upset that I asked her to turn away – like to the point of tears. Bear was trying to explain to her that there are some things that are private and when someone asks you to turn away you just do it without asking questions. He was right – that is a lesson that both cubs need to learn. But I felt in my heart there was more to the upset than just being told not to look. Finally I was able to coax out of Little Bear that we are family, and we should not have secrets from each other. (OK, I guess my own words were being thrown back at me…need to think before I lecture next time since it appears they are actually listening!) I explained to Little Bear how I was embarrassed by the number and really did not even want Daddy Bear to know it. Little Bear looked up at me with tear filled eyes and said “Mommy, it is just a number. We are family, we don’t need to be embarrassed by the numbers. All it means is that you have room for your huge heart”. Meanwhile Baby Bear walks in and joins the conversation. Baby Bear also informs me that it does not matter what I weigh, what number appears on the scales, that they all love me because of who I am – Mommy Bear, and that I am a great person. I was humbled. Daddy Bear looked over Little Bear’s head and grinned at me. His eyes saying “I have told you all along that we love you just the way you are. The reason we want you to lose weight is to be healthy, not because we don’t like you the way you are”.
It has been an emotionally rough week. But God showed me His unconditional love through a website, 2 Cubs and a Daddy Bear. I have been truly blessed.