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Still here…

Wow, it has been way too long since I have posted.
It has been a challenging few months.  Instead of posting, which is a healthy outlet, I bottled up everything.  That was not very good for me physically or emotionally.   As I continue to shed inches and pounds, I am learning to shed some other things as well.   But first, let’s start with the physical.

Earlier this year it was found that my blood sugars were indeed high enough that I needed to go on meds to control them.  Unfortunately, that stopped the big  weight loss that I had been having.  My body was finally using all those calories instead of letting them float around in my blood stream while it utilized my fat to keep it going.  Since I am not using as many calories as I take in my body is starting to store again.  I don’t like that!  I have the bad luck to be allergic to nutra-sweet, in fact all most all of the artificial sweeteners.  I also have the bad habit of a Pepsi addiction.   That is where most of my extra calories come from.  I am addicted to the taste and the bubbles.   Good news is that I honestly don’t mind ice water.   So for now, I am rationing my pepsis and drinking more ice water.  Eventually I would like to move towards watered down fruit juices and spritzer water to get the fizz.  But that still does not give me the caffeine I use to keep my migraines away, since I am not a coffee drinker and large amounts of tea give me heart burn.  Soooo – that part of my life is a work in progress.  Diet wise, though, I am doing pretty well.  I have modified my food choices to include many more veggies (Sam’s carries huge bags of frozen veggies that I heat in the microwave and eat for snacks),  lower fat choices of protein (I love my salsa/black bean/corn dip and often use it as a meal or a healthier bedtime snack), and pairing up my carbs with some sort of protein to prevent sugar spikes and crashes.  My meal portions are better controlled, and I am trying to eat more slowly.  That is a hard habit to break after inhaling meals when I worked in the hospital.  I still have a long way to go, but I am making small steps so that I continue forward instead of making big changes that I can’t continue.

TKD is going very well.  Well, let me qualify that.  It is going well because I have amazing instructors,  a supportive family,  and the parents of other students who cheer me on.  It has been a rough cycle.  There has been a lot of emotional things going on in other parts of my life.  TKD has been an amazing way to work out frustration, but it has also been very difficult to focus during class and keep up with practicing.  My knitting and the couch have been calling my name very loudly and I have succumbed to their lure.   Knitting/crocheting/sewing/cross-stitch have always been a form of mental and emotional therapy for me.   It still is.  But I need to balance that mental therapy out with more physical therapy.   If you notice, the background is now a solid green.  Yes, Baby Bear and I have graduated again.   As I said, it was a struggle this cycle, so this belt means the world to me.  Honestly, though, each cycle has meant something to me.  I have set goals and met them.  I have challenged myself, and even though I have not always met those challenges, I have given them hard work and honest effort.  Baby Bear and I are no longer considered “beginners”, we have now entered the “intermediate” group.

When I started this journey I never thought ahead to getting to this level.  I only knew that I needed to do something.  I am learning how true that old proverb is – how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.  By only focusing on that one bite in front of me, I have moved to places that I never dreamed I could reach.   The cool thing is that this has started a perpetual motion cycle.  As I break through inertia and start moving, my body continues to crave the movement and then I go one step further.  It is really, really cool how that works!



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